Love is one of the greatest gifts God had given us. Aside from the original sin, love is one of the things we inherited from our first parents. All of us are capable of loving. This tendency to love was freely given to us by God. It is part of our nature, freedom and right as humans. Love is related to freedom and feeling. We can both “choose”and “cannot choose” what and who to love and we “cannot choose” when to fall in love. There are times that we just fall in love with the person. Love is a feeling. Love has a reason of its own that we don’t know. Even though the person is not worthy of being loved, there are instances we fall to him or her without knowing the true reason because love is a feeling. It is uncontrollable. All things in life have a reason but at times it’s hard to locate the true reasons. To define love verbally is a hard thing to do. Its definition is limited to our play and use of words. The true meaning of love is measured by what it can do. It can make us crazy to the person (patay na patay). It can make us both selfish and selfless. It can make us do both extremes.
All of us experienced love and being loved. As humans, it is part of our nature and tendencies. All of us may have the ideal person in our life. For some, they get, for some, they do not. Love is really mysterious. True love is mysterious. Even though we have ideal person, we still fall in love to the persons not worthy of it. That is why love must not be calculated and equated. It’s not about money, rewards and gains. It is more than that. It is about the act of loving which is important and not on being loved in return. It is not a business that we should have a high profit. It is not a race that we should win. It is all about surrendering and giving. Without love, life will be meaningless. Loving means relationship and relationship means extension. If we extend our self, we become more a person for it is our essence to “be-with” (Mitsein) or to be in relation with others. We are not for ourselves alone but also for others. In order to actualize this, we need to express love.
All things in life have a price, including love. We love because we have a goal to achieve. Of course as humans, we want to be loved in return. To be loved by someone we love will make us happy. That is why, we have the tendency to be calculating and equating in love. Yes this is true. Most of the relationships broke because of this. If this is the case, we become more focus with what we can get from loving. We all aim of winning in love but the true essence of love tells us of being ready to loss and even to loss our self (selfless love). I personally don’t want to calculate love. It limits love itself. It even destroys relationship due to focusing on rewards and gains. Love must not be calculated and equated. Let’s just allow our self to fall in love and just allow it when to lessen. Love knows when to start and stop. Let’s just follow our feelings. If there are times we follow our feelings and we commit crazy things, we return to our reason, return to what is ought to do and moral. It’s just easy to say but hard to apply.
“Special Love” and “Natural Love”
For me, the cycle of love is from “special love” (love in relation to me) to “natural love” (love in relation to the one I love). Notice what we feel with our parents. We love them but the love we feel to them is just natural. They may be special but the love we feel to them is a natural love due to its ordinariness and being habitual. On the other hand, in falling in love with another person whom we are attracted to (not pure love-“seeming love”), we feel a different kind of love. This love is a special love. Special in the sense that the love we feel is not that ordinary. The love that I mean is the “love in relation to me as a subject.” There is something burning inside of us. It is also the time where seeking for more “satisfaction.”It is in the special love where we usually seek and experience satisfaction. In the natural love, the relationship seems to be ordinary but this is actually a higher kind of love. This is the reality in loving. That is why love must not be equated because in every relationship, the satisfaction level becomes lesser if the love becomes ordinary. We don’t need to give up the person when we are not satisfied of him or her anymore. It is just due to its being habitual that we cannot feel that love is special. Special love is meant to be natural. It is the same in saying that life is meant for death. It is in natural love that satisfaction becomes lesser. Because of this, some couples would break up. After they broke up, they will see what they have loss. It is usually when we loss the person that we see how valuable he/she is. Because the cycle is from special to natural, the love we feel to that person is special in the start but when it becomes habitual, when we and our partner becomes husband and wife, time will come that the love becomes natural where satisfaction level lessens. This is the nature of love. It is usually in the natural love where the true meaning of love lies. The love in the natural love is not a “love in relation to me as a subject.” It becomes a “love in relation to the other.” It is more selfless. It may not be satisfying due to its ordinariness but it is the time where we experience pure love. It is in natural love where affection is not that much expressed because it is already given even if not expressed.
Calculating Love Limits vs. Calculating Love for Reason
(Calculating Love Limits)Love should not be calculated and equated. Doing it makes us focus on gaining rewards in love. We become selfish if we calculate love. We must not be concerned on being loved in return. Our concern must be in the act of loving. Just love the person without expecting love in return. Let’s just allow love to move us.
(Calculating Love for Reason)Looking at the other side, as humans, we always have the tendency to calculate and equate love. It’s okay to be calculating at times especially if things don’t go well. If things don’t go well, we must also use our reasoning well. Love has a reason that we don’t know but in loving, our reasoning also matters.
As a suggestion, we must know when to be calculating in love and not. Calculating and equating love limits but there are times we need to.
Formula for Happy Ending (Between CLL and CLR)
There is no absolute formula between CLL and CLR in order for us to have a happy ending in love. There were those who calculated and equated love that ended happy and there were those who calculated and equated love who ended in breaking up.There were those who did not calculate and equate love who ended happyand there were also those who did not calculated and equated love who ended breaking up. The ending of the relationship depends on how true is our love to the person we love and how true is the love of the person we love to us. If we really love the person even though both becomes calculating and equating, even though in reaching natural love the level of satisfaction becomes lesser, we will not give up the relationship. Love is not about gains. Love is about “Love.”
All of us experienced love and being loved. As humans, it is part of our nature and tendencies. All of us may have the ideal person in our life. For some, they get, for some, they do not. Love is really mysterious. True love is mysterious. Even though we have ideal person, we still fall in love to the persons not worthy of it. That is why love must not be calculated and equated. It’s not about money, rewards and gains. It is more than that. It is about the act of loving which is important and not on being loved in return. It is not a business that we should have a high profit. It is not a race that we should win. It is all about surrendering and giving. Without love, life will be meaningless. Loving means relationship and relationship means extension. If we extend our self, we become more a person for it is our essence to “be-with” (Mitsein) or to be in relation with others. We are not for ourselves alone but also for others. In order to actualize this, we need to express love.
All things in life have a price, including love. We love because we have a goal to achieve. Of course as humans, we want to be loved in return. To be loved by someone we love will make us happy. That is why, we have the tendency to be calculating and equating in love. Yes this is true. Most of the relationships broke because of this. If this is the case, we become more focus with what we can get from loving. We all aim of winning in love but the true essence of love tells us of being ready to loss and even to loss our self (selfless love). I personally don’t want to calculate love. It limits love itself. It even destroys relationship due to focusing on rewards and gains. Love must not be calculated and equated. Let’s just allow our self to fall in love and just allow it when to lessen. Love knows when to start and stop. Let’s just follow our feelings. If there are times we follow our feelings and we commit crazy things, we return to our reason, return to what is ought to do and moral. It’s just easy to say but hard to apply.
“Special Love” and “Natural Love”
For me, the cycle of love is from “special love” (love in relation to me) to “natural love” (love in relation to the one I love). Notice what we feel with our parents. We love them but the love we feel to them is just natural. They may be special but the love we feel to them is a natural love due to its ordinariness and being habitual. On the other hand, in falling in love with another person whom we are attracted to (not pure love-“seeming love”), we feel a different kind of love. This love is a special love. Special in the sense that the love we feel is not that ordinary. The love that I mean is the “love in relation to me as a subject.” There is something burning inside of us. It is also the time where seeking for more “satisfaction.”It is in the special love where we usually seek and experience satisfaction. In the natural love, the relationship seems to be ordinary but this is actually a higher kind of love. This is the reality in loving. That is why love must not be equated because in every relationship, the satisfaction level becomes lesser if the love becomes ordinary. We don’t need to give up the person when we are not satisfied of him or her anymore. It is just due to its being habitual that we cannot feel that love is special. Special love is meant to be natural. It is the same in saying that life is meant for death. It is in natural love that satisfaction becomes lesser. Because of this, some couples would break up. After they broke up, they will see what they have loss. It is usually when we loss the person that we see how valuable he/she is. Because the cycle is from special to natural, the love we feel to that person is special in the start but when it becomes habitual, when we and our partner becomes husband and wife, time will come that the love becomes natural where satisfaction level lessens. This is the nature of love. It is usually in the natural love where the true meaning of love lies. The love in the natural love is not a “love in relation to me as a subject.” It becomes a “love in relation to the other.” It is more selfless. It may not be satisfying due to its ordinariness but it is the time where we experience pure love. It is in natural love where affection is not that much expressed because it is already given even if not expressed.
Calculating Love Limits vs. Calculating Love for Reason
(Calculating Love Limits)Love should not be calculated and equated. Doing it makes us focus on gaining rewards in love. We become selfish if we calculate love. We must not be concerned on being loved in return. Our concern must be in the act of loving. Just love the person without expecting love in return. Let’s just allow love to move us.
(Calculating Love for Reason)Looking at the other side, as humans, we always have the tendency to calculate and equate love. It’s okay to be calculating at times especially if things don’t go well. If things don’t go well, we must also use our reasoning well. Love has a reason that we don’t know but in loving, our reasoning also matters.
As a suggestion, we must know when to be calculating in love and not. Calculating and equating love limits but there are times we need to.
Formula for Happy Ending (Between CLL and CLR)
There is no absolute formula between CLL and CLR in order for us to have a happy ending in love. There were those who calculated and equated love that ended happy and there were those who calculated and equated love who ended in breaking up.There were those who did not calculate and equate love who ended happyand there were also those who did not calculated and equated love who ended breaking up. The ending of the relationship depends on how true is our love to the person we love and how true is the love of the person we love to us. If we really love the person even though both becomes calculating and equating, even though in reaching natural love the level of satisfaction becomes lesser, we will not give up the relationship. Love is not about gains. Love is about “Love.”